Such an easy sentiment
to lean into
on lazy summer days
but the truth and
its power is
summoning it
in the midst of pain
The gratitude
at a funeral
having seen you
just before
you faded
into memories
Deep illness
cracked open
compassion
loss
generated growth
the bones
of your sadness
soothed with
the balm
of gratitude
There is a reason
it rhymes
with attitude
has grit in its letters
this healing word
that can change
the course of
rivers
of emotion
© Tanya Southey
#52words52weeks
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This life I find so big
is merely
the backdrop
of yours
prop-like I am
drinking a tea
while you are in
the café deep
in life-changing
conversation
I am the extra
in the movie of
your traffic jam
the one you
sat next to
on the plane
we thought
the other boring
but I had
high altitude thoughts
of the vastness
of the universe
the specks of
dust
of us
‘Sonder’
in another language
sounds like a word
that means ‘without’
And I guess it is
without knowledge
without depth
these tiny assumptions
you hold of me
that are neither
accurate nor true
but just an
external black
and white view
which belies
the rich internal
kaleidoscope
© Tanya Southey
#52words52weeks
Photograph Credit: Denise Smith – “Tube people” – follow Denise on Instagram @deniselifeart
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In the babble of the world
the assault on your senses
ears tuned externally
it’s almost impossible
to hear your own heartbeat
Your own truth
suffocated by
the desires of others
and their ‘truth’
about you
spoken
so loudly
Yet your heart never ceases
silently in your chest
echoing your deepest longing
On pale pink mornings
you should rise with the sun
find a rock
a beach or a tree
close your eyes
as the rays whisper
through the leaves
or dazzle the water
And listen to the story
your heart has waited
for so long to tell you
© Tanya Southey
#52words52weeks
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There are times
I am convinced
parts of my soul
slipped down
to earth to play
hide and seek
with me
This playful
universe
loves a surprise
and waits
hiding
sometimes for years
behind the curtains
giggling like a child
hoping to be found
at the exact moment
that will force you
to believe in
magic and miracles
It fills me with wonder
that in incongruous places
I have found jigsaw pieces
little bits
that have the colours
for the exact picture of
my life at that moment
And there you were
standing
in mundane greyness
no idea that our lives
were intertwined
and that even up until
this point our experiences
had almost been identical
but only years of talking
would reveal the depths
that that moment could not
And now the discovery
that it makes no difference
where we are
you are likely to have just
had the same experiences
meaningful coincidences
we scratch our heads and laugh
Time and distance
mean nothing
in this melting
pot of consciousness
if I am sad
I light a candle for you
as likely you are too
we both see the same sun
love rises
and shows us the way home
Always
© Tanya Southey
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Younger beliefs
that I would
in some magical year
halt and form
develop into
a static person
who had arrived
and then remain
cast in stone
Become
Now I see
that each year
starts in a haze
with a shimmering light
somewhere in the fog
of remembrance
beckoning
a further becoming
A deep summoning
of who I was
preordained to be
before I was shrouded
in the layers
of the should’s
the ought’s
and must’s
Unfurling
shedding
layers of skin
chiselling off
the edges
emerging from
the marble
changing
paradoxically
to become
myself
© Tanya Southey
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Handbag
What would you
learn about me
if all you could
see were the
contents of my
handbag?
The rose quartz
pebble nesting
in the dark lint
covered corner
reminding me
to love
unconditionally
myself included
The tumbled
turquoise gem
the one I think
likes to travel
so it comes along
holding dreams
of blue skies
always the same
above the clouds
The black pebble
once the resting
place of chopsticks
unconventional
in shape
stone black
rock solid
like the friend
I had dinner with
A sapphire coloured
rosary given by
my grandmother
my nine year old hands
receiving it with pride
it somehow always
finds its way out
of its tiny bag
and hangs neglected
knotted
with my earphones
Things for all sorts
of eventualities
a pocket for
preparedness
a pouch for dreams
a notebook to retain
important thoughts
receipts of memories
already created
a loaded wallet of
intentions to make
the world a better place
And you thought it was
just a Coach handbag
my husband
bought for me for
my birthday
© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry
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In the winter of my depletion
you sent an invitation
to lie along your shore
the moon mirroring your face
on the deep purple lake
the darkness allowing your face to
appear on the quiet reflection
the snow was retreating into
the ground and my frozen heart
the trees stood where
they had always stood
their roots under the beach
tapping the source
the rock slowly allowing
itself to be weathered
it’s ancestors now pebbles
on the shore
their greatness worn to minerals
in the healing waters
the gulls silenced in the night
feathers puffed in protection
preventing their daytime
repetitive squawking
Just the silence of the gentle
lapping waves water coloured silver
and I knew that I could
conjure memories
in stillness and find
solace inside myself
where everything
I have ever been or
ever loved
will dwell
© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry
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I went inside my cells
and found the strand
of the first woman
who created my mother
my grandmother
and all the women
who came before me
She who was created in
her perfection
who knew nothing
of this dangerous
wild world we now
call home
She who had
the love
the skills
the courage and
the ability to bring
forth all these generations
She had no idea of where
it would end
her cells multiplying
through generations
and that one day I
would arrive somewhere
in Africa and travel
to all the continents
including perhaps the one
where she first appeared
where she had witnessed
the wonder of creation
her unblemished perfection
unaware of the issues
we would face and
I found the calmness
in her cells and the joy
she found in nature
the happiness and wonder
she had for the world
and in that tiny strand of
her DNA that wove through my cells
I knew I could stand calm
in the raging storm
that is the world.
© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry
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I am not used to
the sounds of wild geese
circling frozen lakes
I am not familiar with
snow drifts blanketing
the landscape with
frozen covering
I am not accustomed to
layering myself in
warmth to ward off the cold
I am not steeped in
vistas of barren tundras
with the remains of winter
pockmarking the earth
I have never been in
this lonely place without you
these minus temperatures
of grief are wholly foreign
You are a spring and
summer memory
not this icicle cathedral
you are spring tulips
and summer fairies
You are deep lake discussions
on warm summer nights
dragonflies and butterflies
dreamcatchers from the
store at the native reservation
The only wild goose I knew
before you were gone
were the plans
we’d hatch on adventures
we would take
I guess I knew then we
would never pull them off
your body was never
going to let you do
what your mind
so easily conceived
but we hatched those
joyful geese on wings of laughter
And now I am standing
In this Canadian cold
you are gone
I am not used to
the sound of wild geese
circling frozen lakes.
© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry
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I called to
all four corners
of the universe
I waited
but only heard
the echo of my voice
I searched
beyond the clouds
of doubt
I moved
aside the mountains
of longing
And yet there was silence
I called to
all four corners
of the universe
I bowed
before the force of love
I fuelled
the candle of intention
I watched
the flame
of memories
but still the silence lingered
I called to
all four corners
of the universe
Silence
I fell asleep
and you met me
in my dreams
© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry
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