Loss rages
unexpected
as a bushfire
it burns
the water dry
cardboard drops
stick inside
my blistered
throat

The world once
upright overturned
I walk legless
and catatonic

Even months
from now
after I have strained
singlehandedly to
push these monolithic
buildings back into
their rightful place
this decimated spot
where you once stood
will lie empty
and my choices will be
to tend the weeds
that grow in your place
or avoid this place forever

This hurtful place
that drew a line
smack bang
through my life
and gashed its
forever scar of across
my face and heart

Before
and
after

My hands will
perpetually
flutter
and rub
this welt that bears
witness
to you
being wrenched out
of my life

And here we all stand
in cindered fields
emotions spent
bearing our new
definitions
ones that have us
hyphenated
mother-less
father-less
brother-less
sister-less
child-less

And when all
seems gone
you dissolved
only reflections remain
we catch glimpses
of ourselves
aching to hold it
together
clutching at scattered
fragments of
our souls and stitching
them back together to
never become
soul-less

© Tanya Southey

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Grace knows

Grace knows
how to stack
your vertebrae
one above
the other

Align the spine
when the haters
cry to have you
stooped and bent
when all expect
you to spit
back the venom
that was aimed
directly at
your good intentions

Grace knows
that dignity
is the precursor
to love
grace knows
to hold firm
smile and wave
walk away
remain upright
but not uprighteous
poised and elegant
compassionate
above the fray

Grace knows

© Tanya Southey

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The wilderness
was once visible
a hooded darkness
of caves and woods
monsters concealed
in logs or behind
shadowy rocks

A lonely place

The wilderness
is now invisible
a place of
tall buildings
and people milling
a proximity of connection
but utter disconnection
a place of aching
aloneness in the
closeness of crowds
a million likes
but not one smile

We crave belonging
this timeless spaceless
knowing that we are loved
that we are seen
that someone knows
in this wilderness
that we really do exist
the one whose eyes
lock onto ours
and without words say
‘I know exactly
who you are
soul of my soul’

The rain
absorbed

You
internalised

Loneliness
dissolved

Only the
lingering
lightness
of connection

© Tanya Southey

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Don’t wrap me
in your pity
or stifle me
with sympathy
the lion’s roar
may well
seem silenced
but it’s alive
within my core

Don’t smother me
with platitudes
or shroud me
in condescension
sympathy will only
invoke my rage
my wounds
will scream
with anger

Tread water
with me in the inky
ocean of emotion
don’t throw the
rope of
patronising promises
to drag me in
trust me enough
to float next to me
in these deep
uncomfortable waters
don’t seek to soothe
your own discomfort

Only then might we
be washed up
spent
ready for restoration
on the beach of
understanding

© Tanya Southey
#52words52weeks

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