I have been with you
since I was an idea
in your girlhood
when movies were black
and white and you wore
bobby socks with
flared rock and roll
skirts and you dreamt
of motherhood.
You whispered me
into reality.

I have no concept
of your mortality
Not until recently
when you lay
slack-jawed
with machines
breathing for you
You looked
bird-like
vulnerable
It made me blink
with lack of comprehension
I wanted to shake
I wanted to shake you
Have a two year old tantrum
Tell you
to stop acting
It’s not funny
I wanted to
simultaneously
laugh and sob
at the sight of you
Laugh because it seemed
you were pretending
to be sick and you were
doing it so well
Sob because you looked
So weak

You are my mother
You were here before me
It makes no sense
that my beginning
can have an ending.

© Tanya Southey @Ordinary Poetry

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