Vulnerability and Strength
Last week two things happened to me. When I was riding my bicycle, filled with the joy of being alive and able to do something that I never thought I could, my bud said with “that” look on her face “Tan, let’s just get focused for November and ditch these extra kilos, stop being defiant.” This came on the back of me having lunch with my business partner where we had been chewing over how the last few months have felt – settling into a new business, defining the future and going for it. Things are falling into place nicely, so I was suddenly spurred to “just do it.” But not make a production of it, not feel deprived but just push myself with joy and positivity, rather than with punishment and deprivation. I have spoken of this before, but there was a further subtle shift in my head. It’s funny how sometimes to do something you first need a “shift in your head”. It goes back to my “either/or” thinking model vs my “and” thinking model. I can get into the space where I either have fun or I lose weight. The joy is in the sweet spot of “and”. How do I have fun AND lose weight? When we make life binary it gets reduced to boring options. When we take an inclusive approach it becomes filled with creativity, out of the box thinking and motivation. I have always loved a problem that other people say can’t be solved with an “and”. It gives me satisfaction to to hand back the solution. Yes, I am a bit cheeky, like that. So this week I have lost 1.2kgs, I am in the zone. The zone of joy and AND…
It also got me musing on my previous post on the sadness of emigration. Emigration is a big AND moment. How do you stay strong AND vulnerable at the same time? It made me think about how beautiful vulnerability is when you hold it from a position of strength. You could say “I am either vulnerable or I am strong.” But what happens when you are both? When you are vulnerable and strong, I think you learn compassion. And compassion is I think one of the most amazing things we should all aspire to. Compassion gets you to see through a different lens and make a more informed decision. You can have no compassion without vulnerability.
Today, every time I think either/or, I am going to poke myself in the ribs and go “And?” Lovingly of course…happy Friday, my beautiful peeps!
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