Does love mean never having to say you are sorry?
I had never seen the movie “Love Story” – it was released when I was three years old. I do remember being a “Hello Dolly” fan at about that age, but my parents obviously did not think “Love Story” was a suitable movie for me. This Friday night, as hubby suffered through a sinus infection and the house was in its cone of silence, due to exams, I lay flicking through Foxtel and there was “Love Story.” I had seen that Oprah was running a 40 year reunion for the movie, so thought I should watch the epic movie. My labrador and I struck the movie watching pose and soaked it up.
The movie has a famous line in it where Ali MacGraw tearfully says to Ryan O’Neale that “Love means never having to say you are sorry.” It got me thinking is that true? Does love mean you never have to say you are sorry?
Love is complicated, I think this depends. If you hold it with reverence and treat it with respect, perhaps you never have to say you are sorry. But what if you fail and either by omission or co-mission, you wound love? Do you still not have to say you are sorry? I think saying “sorry” is an act of taking accountability. I have learned to love differently as I have grown and changed. The way I defined love has changed and moved, but fundamentally, can you never have to say sorry? I used to think that love was action, doing, fixing, interacting, taking responsibility for those who perhaps I should have allowed more space. I have learned that love can also be about doing nothing. That sometimes the way love needs to be expressed is about withdrawing in order to let the person do what needs to be done or what is right. That is one of the hardest forms of love when you are required to stop “interfering” and rescuing and allow the person to live their life while you continue to love them.
Perhaps when you are the “wounded”, your response when someone says sorry is to say “Love means never having to say you are sorry” as an act of forgiveness. But as the “wounder”, you should acknowledge your mistakes?
It really has puzzled me, does love mean never having to say you are sorry? Tell me peeps…
Blech. Worst movie in the world and set a precedent about “perfect” love. Real love is a work in progress. Basic tenets of life indicate that if you wound someone, intentionally or not, you apologise immediately and proceed to make amends. It doesn’t mean being a doormat, it means you are willing to commit to a relationship in every facet. For movie interpretations of real love it would be better to watch “The Notebook” or even “Lion King”. Was I the only person in the world who heaved a sigh of relief when Ali McGraw’s character died??
I love you! I did not quite want her to die, because I saw facets of her spirit in mine, BUT, I think love does mean being able to say you are sorry, and then taking it to a new space. Wayne and I were wondering whether forty years ago, the movie was more contemporary and therefore resonated more? I agree on The Notebook, beautiful movie. As for Disney, absolutely, Jess and I have been collecting them fastidiously as they come out of the “vault” and onto DVD.